My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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