I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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