Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
