I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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