He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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