my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
