..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
