Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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