oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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