Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
