She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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