HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
