You really coming over, don't trick.
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
