JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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