there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
