She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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