If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
