Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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