I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
