i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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