i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
