brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
