Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
