If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Sorry about my life...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize