Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
