HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
