If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
