We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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