I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I think my moral compass just broke
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