11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
