to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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