Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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