I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
