I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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