you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
