I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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