Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
