What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
