Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
