my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
