So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
smell my finger.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
