are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We got so high we made milksteak
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
