dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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