You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So many bounce houses so little time
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
