i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
