You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
