you guys were way drunker than both of me
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
