Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
