I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize