It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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