break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
