so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
