wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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