ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
