they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
