its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize