Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
