You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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