oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
