that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
