tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Randomize
