he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
