I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
