it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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