You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
