I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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