Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just threw up on my dentist
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
